okay so how i feel/reasons i’m with you/why i love you blah blah bleh

Like, wow first I’d like to say that I would’ve never thought that it would turn out to be that I was the one not expressing that much feeling anymore. Maybe it’s because I haven’t really had to get a chance to be as sweet as I would like to with all this fighting, but I don’t know. Anyways~

You mean a lot to me okay. Like everything. I think the first time we hung out I was like sghjdghcjks after that. Like I could have cried from happiness it was so perfect. And I would think about it and I would get so happy. Like the day after I think I woke up smiling maybe. And then I would go to to school and I just could NOT focus. On anything. I would constantly think about you. And if something or someone pissed me off I would think about you. Like I’d take a deep breath and text you or remember being in your arms or something. Or think about the next time I see you. Just stupid stuff like that because you make me so happy. And you asked me to be your girlfriend, like I got home and I just wanted to explode and just tell everyone because I was so happy to be your girlfriend. You make me so happy and I was just like ugh he’s mine now. And then you said that you loved me. And I’m pretty sure I wasn’t allowed on my phone then but omg Zach I was so happy I screamed. Like I almost got caught but I was so happy. And I told Korinn and she was like shut up but i didn’t care. Cause you said that and yeah. 

Like I’ve liked you forever okay. Seriously you are so perfect. Okay like you are so cute. Your face and the way you look at me like i don’t know why you don’t think you’re attractive like you think my eyes are pretty but yours are amazing they have a nice shape like is that weird to say? has anyone ever told you that? cause i think they are. and they change colors too like i don’t even know what to say. like if someone asked me what color they were i would just be like i don’t know. I know that sounds bad but they’re still just amazing. and your smile oh my god. when you really smile its the cutest thing ever like I just want to grab your face and kiss you forever. you have really nice teeth like and your face just ugh. I like you. and your body. Okay idk why you don’t think you its nice but i love it the way it is. Please don’t say that you need to stop eating or you need to run like don’t change it pls. I like your body and I like touching it and I like feeling it on top of me. I really like being on top of you tho too like everything is just great when we’re doing stuff. heh you’re so hot like I can’t stand it. And i just love when you touch me. and even though you can be aggressive like, it’s hot sometimes. I can’t think about you like that for too long. I get all hot and overwhelmed. like I need to see you soon. not just because of that but like ugh sidjksdf you’re amazing. but being in your arms. like nfjksl cause i told you you don’t cuddle me you like tangle yourself into me and its the best. I feel really close to you and i can never be there for too long like, cuddling with you can never. get. old. and that one time you fell asleep it was really cute ugh we’re perfect. You’re voice too. I could listen to it for hours. I just want to Skype you 24/7 but I feel like that’s weird and it might annoy you. You don’t really talk but that’s fine. Can I just have skype marathons with you please omg it makes me so happy. I like looking at you and watching you do that cute thing with your face. whoops heh but you being attractive isn’t the only reason I’m with you/why i love you.

Okay you’re smart heh. That sounds dumb but you are. Like at first it was a little intimidating because I’m not used to dating someone smarter than me. Like I try to keep up lol w/e. but you are and it’s so interesting to me. and you say interesting things and you bring up interesting topics like heh~ you’re all mysterious. w/e. Also, you have morals you think before you say things. And you go out of your way    to not hurt me or upset me. Like Spencer would try his hardest to make me jealous or upset and he’d threaten me and try to get me in trouble. You’re a good person ok. Also, you make me happy. Nothing else seems to work but you. I don’t think anyone has ever made me feel this way. You’re the only person I’ve ever felt this strongly for. I care so much. I get jealous so easily I’m sorry. Like you can talk about another girl and I’m not lying okay have gotten a little jealous over the way you said someone’e name before. I just love you so much like no one else can have you. I can’t even think about it. If someone else got to kiss you and got to have your love I wouldn’t even need to kill myself like my body would just shut down. I love you too much. I care about you so much. When you haven’t had enough sleep im just like aw poor Zach and I genuinely feel bad because I care. And I’m just like take a nap but ugh I don’t want you to go because I’ll miss you too much. Like I HATE i seriously HATE when you’re sad or upset. Especially when it’s for no reason. Or when it’s my fault. And when you say that it doesn’t matter whenever I ask you whats wrong. Please stop saying that. idk why it just frustrates me so much because I care more than anything and your feelings mean a lot to me. Why don’t you get that :c And that’s why I don’t want you to hurt yourself like it would be you hurting yourself even more and I don’t really believe in self harm. Like I really don’t want you to cut please. It hurts me so much. If you killed yourself, I would kill myself okay. Besides that, I wouldn’t you to hurt yourself over me or something that I did either. It hurts me a lot I don’t know why you still want to do it. I just care about you a lot, Zach. I know I haven’t been showing it well lately but if anything please. don’t hurt yourself. It even hurts when you say you want to kill yourself. Or that you want to die. It hurts and I want to cry just thinking about it. But okay. I love you so much omfg. We’re going to be together forever. And we’re going to get married and it’s going to be perfect because i’ll be with you. I can’t even explain how much, Sorry I haven’t been showing you a lot of affection lately. I’m sorry because you deserve all of the affection in the world and you deserve to be happy. and I just want to us to be happy. I know this isn’t great because I keep getting distracted and I can’t stay focused. Mostly because I’m skyping with you right now and you’re being all cute like usual. okay so i’ll make another one of these like every week or so. I’m sorry I love you

pleasE

let one of these trees

fall and crash through my window

and pleASE let shards of glass stab me in the face or somethin

orRrrRrr

if the tree could just happen to land on my body and crush my pelvis that’d be cool

or

lightning coming through the broken window and electrocuting me could work too

plEASE UGH

i cant

handle

this

about to go rant on my personal personal blog

because im so COnFuSed wiTh mY WHoLe LiFe Rn

everytime i hear i wouldnt mind by he is we

i want to cry 

like im happier then ive ever been now

but it still hurts a little heh

kellin quinn’s

cover of iris

»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»

omfg isjdknsjjkz